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Extreme Self-Care: It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Tuesday, July 5th, 2022. The day after “Independence” Day. And it’s a whopping 97 degrees in Austin, with no end of this heatwave in sight.

Our second full week since the horrendous Supreme Court overruling of Roe v. Wade. Our third year into the pandemic. It is safe to say that the world is in a state of chaos at this moment in history. Not only are we all struggling on a macro-level, but we are also struggling within our own systems as well as our individual journeys. And this is why I want to dedicate this week’s blog to the phrase “It’s okay to not be okay.” Our bodies have not even begun to recover. We are still knee-deep within the trauma. So many of my friends, colleagues, and clients alike are completely unable to make a decision as far as what to do. And I find myself saying to them, “There’s not much we can do right now except just be.” Our hearts and bodies are heavy, and our emotions are heightened and intensified. Signs Of Not Being Okay: 1) Sleep-deprivation 2) Increased anxiety 3) Increased depression 4) Restlessness 5) Feeling the need to isolate and withdraw 6) Lacking the motivation to “go on” 7) More lateness than usual

8) Overall feeling “checked out” or “burnt out”

9) Increased substance use

10) Irritability or short fuse


There are many more signs of not being okay. I am here to tell you that this is the time for being off. Trying to meditate and staying in the here-and-now has perhaps never been more difficult. Knowing that rights are being stripped away almost nonchalantly is nothing short of traumatic.


Our bodies need to rest during a time where all of us may feel as though we are on maximum overdrive. For those who were unsettled in any form from the heinous ruling as well as those who have an inkling of what’s to come: I hear you, I see you, I stand with you, and I will fight for and with you.


It’s safe to say that we have a long, arduous journey ahead of us full of uncertainty and emotional energy. And before we begin the “do” (i.e. voting the misogynists and bigots out of office, demonetizing hateful institutions who funded the ban on abortion, protesting, etc.), we need to first start with the “just be”.


To exist right now can feel like a struggle in itself. With the weighing in of all the negativity that surrounds us, we must first check in with ourselves. If we are not okay, it is so incredibly important to allow our bodies rest. This will help us fight the good fight on abortion ban. To honor our bodies existing within the trauma, I am urging everyone affected by the overturning of Roe v. Wade to engage in EXTREME SELF CARE.


The formula of this is to take any self-care that you are already doing, and multiply it by three.


Examples:

1) Instead of meditating for 5 minutes a day, meditate for 15.

2) Instead of taking a relaxing bubble bath once a week, take three!

3) Instead of taking a 20 minute lunch break, take the full hour if possible!

4) Instead of just canceling one meeting or commitment a week, cancel two more if your body is not feeling it.

5) If you read a book for an hour a day, read it for two or three if you have the bandwidth.


I hope these examples give everyone a clearer idea of what extreme self-care can mean. But it should absolutely be something that works for you. I am encouraging everyone to be stingy with their time in the name of self-care. And this should absolutely be something that feels correct and congruent to YOU.


Some more examples of self-care:

1) Signing up for a yoga class

2) Eating dinner at your favorite restaurant

3) Grabbing coffee from your favorite coffee shop

4) Watching your favorite movie or TV show

5) Getting a gym membership

6) Going to a museum

7) Purchasing concert tickets

8) Planning for trips and booking them

9) Scheduling mental health days off

10) Writing out your goals for the day


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