Hello, I'm Ian. And I'm a Psychotherapist with ADHD.

“Lazy.”

“Fidgety.”

“Easily distracted.”

“Lack of focus.”

These were some of the many labels that were placed upon me growing up by parents and teachers alike.

By second grade, my school performance began to suffer significantly. My teacher nearly failed me because of my lack of progress in her class. Throughout elementary school, I constantly received conduct marks, write-ups, and any other disciplinary action that the teachers imposed upon children to keep them in line.

Rarely did it work for such a distractible child like myself. 

In fourth grade, I misplaced a project that was a large part of my final class grade. The night before it was due, I realized I had lost it and had a hysterical meltdown in my room. I was unable to be soothed by my parents. When I told my teacher the next morning that I lost my project and did not have it with me while all of the other students were turning theirs in, she yelled at me in front of the class and told me I was receiving a conduct mark. (Luckily, I was able to make the project up later in the semester… for a reduced grade, of course). 

Despite doing surprisingly well on the diabolical standardized testing during my junior year of high school, I barely made it to my high school graduation. I was a half-credit short starting my senior year and had to take an online sociology class so that I could walk to receive my high school diploma along with the rest of my friends.

College was also very challenging. Undergraduate students are somehow expected to take a barrage of irrelevant classes that do not apply to their degrees, other than simply being “prerequisites”. For a student with then-undiagnosed ADHD like myself, having to take college courses on topics that had absolutely nothing to do with my interests or future passions was nothing short of a neural nightmare.

Growing up, I incorrectly thought ADHD only applied to children with severe hyperactivity, impulsivity, or students with severe learning disabilities. I had no idea that I could fall into this category as well given how differently ADHD can look (based on the person affected by it).

When I finally reached my master’s program and was able to take classes that were actually applicable and relevant to my future career as a psychotherapist, I was much better able to focus in class. I was fascinated by the various theories, modalities, approaches, and research methods that we all had to study. The myth around not being able to focus with ADHD is just that: a myth. Instead, we focus on things that we find stimulating, interesting, and useful. 

Ultimately after graduation, I passed both of my licensing exams. I thought I was in the clear. However, it wasn’t until several years into my career as a therapist that I realized that I myself could be diagnosed with ADHD. 

I was having a remote session during the pandemic with a client around my age, and they were telling me that they got diagnosed recently with ADHD. They began to take medication for this, and so many aspects of their life improved drastically. Their job performance, their marriage, their anxiety,  their overall productivity. They said that having this diagnosis helped them make sense of so many childhood moments in their life. They were often labeled as "too talkative", "easily distracted", "lazy", and "undisciplined" while growing up.

And then it hit me.

It truly is amazing how much our clients inadvertently make us self-reflect as humans. This client’s narrative of how validating their experience receiving this diagnosis was ultimately helped me realize that I may have ADHD myself. And it put so much into perspective. The lost projects, the extremely tough times in college, the punitive labels my parents and teachers gave me when they would get frustrated with my lack of focus. 

Several years went by after this inner shift and self-realization. I continued to have a (knock wood) thriving private practice. But I realized that I was not done learning and thus went into my PhD program. The first two years of this program weren’t easy by any means, but they felt manageable while I continued to see a full caseload of clients. I kept hearing that the third and final year of the doctoral program was “the easiest” because there were no more classes. It was just the required internship and dissertation portion. 

This became an absolute nightmare for my undiagnosed ADHD brain. 

My brain was so used to taking quizzes, writing papers, taking exams, and giving group presentations. I began to feel as though I was malfunctioning by not having anymore traditionally structured classes. I suddenly was no longer living my life adhering to rigid deadlines and due dates. I was faced with a very nebulous, unstructured plan of completing my dissertation proposal “at my own pace”  and taking my doctoral exam “when I was ready”. I was imploding. 

I finally went to my doctor and pleaded with her to get on some form of medication to help with my focus. Because she wanted to be absolutely sure I had ADHD, she referred me to a psychologist to get tested. I went to an office in Dripping Springs for a two-hour appointment where I sat in front of a computer and took tests measuring my focus and executive functioning. 

Lo and behold, I received my test results a week later via email between clients while I was at my office. There it said in black and white that I had Attention-Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. 

It was hard to explain how I felt in this moment. Part of me felt very validated that I received this diagnosis at 37. The other part of me was angry at my parents for never testing me sooner under their stigma of “We don’t want to put our child on stimulants”. 

Regardless, my doctor finally prescribed me Vyvanse (to be taken daily) and Adderall (as a supplemental). Since beginning these medications, my income has nearly doubled. My productivity has improved. Completing case notes no longer feels like a slog, but merely a simple weekly task. My budgeting has been tightened so that I feel better able to manage my finances as a business owner. I’m much more able to stay present in session with my clients. The brain fog that was associated with “forcing” my brain to focus (before medication) is nearly gone. My depression and anxiety have decreased drastically as I’m not constantly worried that I may miss a deadline or disappoint those around me. 

Since getting diagnosed with ADHD and receiving adequate medication, my quality of life has improved drastically. My quirks, tics, and hyper-fixations throughout my life no longer feel like the red conduct marks that I would receive from my elementary school teachers. Instead, they are fun and nuanced parts of who I am as a person. 

As a therapist, I suddenly was able to not only empathize deeply with my ADHD and neurodivergent clients who were currently on my caseload, but I was also able to quickly spot symptoms of ADHD in newer clients who found themselves struggling to focus at work, on finances, in school, or in their relationships. 

A very wise supervisor once told me that as therapists, we can only take our clients as far as we have gone ourselves. Receiving this ADHD diagnosis not only validated and normalized so many unhealed and disowned parts of myself as a human, but it made me a better therapist for clients who struggle with managing their ADHD.

If you are struggling with ADHD in an ADHD-unfriendly world, or if you relate to some of the experiences I shared growing up before I was properly diagnosed, I can help! I specialize in navigating ADHD and ADD and am happily taking on new individual Texas clients! Contact me today to set up a phone consult! Therapists who manage ADHD themselves are better able to understand it so that they may meet the needs of their clients with ADHD!

Ian Hammonds, PhD Candidate, LPC-Supervisor, LMFT-Supervisor  (He/Him/His)

Owner, Founder | New Wave Counseling, Austin

Doctoral Candidate | Alliant University, San Diego

5524 Bee Caves Road

Building E, Suite 2

Austin, Texas 78746

NewWaveCounselingATX.com/About-Ian

NewWaveCounselingATX@gmail.com

O: 512-402-2995