Inhumane: The Relational Impact of Job Loss

Job Loss is Rampant In the decade of experience I have had as a psychotherapist, I have seen many historical events impact and shape the lived realities of my clients. Tragedies, wars, natural disasters, pandemics, celebrity deaths, and the list goes on. Though these each have unique stressors that psychologically impact my clients, they have been short-term, abrupt, and isolated experiences that my clients only have to experience once… And subsequently gather their resources and strengths to get through the aftermath and resulting grief and trauma of these unpleasant happenings.

However, since 2023, many of my clients have faced either the looming possibility or the blunt reality of job loss. Never in my experience as a therapist have I seen this many clients, couples, and families being forced to shift to a single-income household overnight. 

Geographical Factors

I live in Austin, a tech-centric city that has many large companies which have undergone massive layoffs. Some of my clients affiliated with these companies have either been laid off suddenly or have woken up to the cold and callous email informing them that they are no longer employed.

Clinical Factors Hearing about this nearly every day at my job can feel overwhelming. I feel as though I am always asking my clients questions such as, “What is giving you hope in your search for a new job?”, “Do you have backup financial resources if your severance pay runs out?”, and “What are your biggest strengths as you deal with your recent job loss?”. I will also lean into the attachment questions around job loss such as, “How will your family come together through the layoff?”, “How can your marriage remain stable as you both cope with this financial setback?”, and “How has your extended family shown up for you in lieu of this recent shock?”

Contextual Factors

We are living in a time in history where many engineering and tech-focused jobs are being wiped away by AI at an alarming pace. Human connection is being replaced before our very eyes by an algorithm that circumvents the “complexities” of forming and maintaining safe human relationships. I assert that if humans showed more humanity, they wouldn’t be replaced so rapidly by AI.

Individual Factors Many recently unemployed software developers and engineers who once felt that devoting their entire careers felt safe and sensible to tech are now having to rethink their entire trajectories. Some who have lost their jobs are having to go back to college entirely so that they feel that they have to stand out more on employment applications, going further into student debt than they already were. Some of them are having existential meltdowns as they grapple with the reality that they may have to shift vocational identities entirely.

Emotional Factors The smart and hard-working employees (and their families) who have entrusted their lives (and livelihoods) with these very large corporations are feeling isolated, traumatized, and disheartened by falling victim to job loss and the subsequent hardships. The families who were once dependent on their salaries are now suffering from scarcity, fear, and pain as their recently unemployed caregiver’s severance package runs low. And when someone undergoes so much emotional distress at one time, this can compromise immunity and reduce their quality of life both short-term and long-term.

Relational Factors In lieu of the rampant job loss, I see through my work that marriages are suffering. Families are escalating in conflict. Children are withdrawn and seeking surrogate attachment (in sometimes harmful ways) away from their highly escalated and petrified families that once felt like a secure base. I have noticed as a clinician that if families did not have strong emotional bonds prior to being faced with an abrupt layoff, the cracks that were already there will become craters. Old emotional wounds resurface in the family, and scarcity-driven survival mechanisms kick in (ultimately dividing the relationships within the family).

Survivor's Guilt

Some of my clients (and personal friends) have been lucky enough to survive the many rounds of rolling layoffs at these large tech companies. But the stress and “survivor’s guilt” of staying gainfully employed amidst witnessing thousands of their fellow employees being let go is also traumatizing. They suddenly are faced with the heightened stress of taking on the jobs of five or six other people who have recently been let go. They also are feeling immense pressure from their bosses and directors who are forcing them to meet unreasonable quotas due to a huge reduction in live people on their teams. 

Inhumane

Either way, this phenomenon is inhumane. People (and their partners and families) are in immense relational turmoil. What once was known as a steady industry that was promising for long-term employment (and assurance of children’s college funds) is now seen as a flimsy, tenuous means of employment at best. The mere idea of sending out an email to thousands of employees in the same day to let them know that they are no longer with a company is disgusting and heartless. 

And yet, it shows who their employer was all along...

Trust

Granted, making this realization doesn’t help the recently fired employees financially with their impending mortgages or the rising costs of food and gas. But when an employee realizes that an entire job entity was lying to them while they remained loyal, trusting, and productive for their company’s growth, this can severely impact their levels of trust. And this sudden lack of trust creates a systemic impact on their households. Their children might feel as though they can trust no one as they get older if they witnessed their caregivers being disposed of by a company the entire family once entrusted. 

As humans, we simply need to trust others. We are biologically wired to connect and feel that we can trust those around us. This creates psychological safety. And without psychological safety (a key ingredient that ironically many Fortune 500 owners attribute to successful growth of their companies), we cannot authentically exist as humans on either an individual or relational level. 

Through Resiliency Comes Humanity

Though this phenomenon of massive layoffs feels permanent from both a clinical and human level, the immense impact of the continued job loss in tech companies is asking families and relationships to become resilient. In times like the pandemic, the Texas “Snow-pocalypse” of 2021, and other recent traumatizing events that have affected my clients and their families, everyone learned to look within themselves and gather the necessary strengths and resources that they might have forgotten were there. Communities and families came together and showed up for people around them who were suffering and less privileged than they. 

In very tenuous and unstable times, humanity really shines through as we begin to see everyone’s primary core selves show up for others around them. All of the pretences and “protective gear” are stripped during adverse events. This ability for humans to show up for others is essential in a time where exhibiting a glaring lack of humanity seems to be the “right” thing to do. 

Despite the garrish indifference of some corporate leaders who appear to treat layoffs as competitive sport, disregarding the profound impact on employees and their families, human connection remains alive and well. Despite the damage that the abrupt joblessness has imposed upon countless families and marriages, humans are somehow finding hope and resiliency amidst their traumatizing times. The children of the families who experienced recent job loss will recall this moment in history as a time when their families had nothing but each other, regardless of how they handled it. 

Emotional Connection Heals All Wounds

If your household was recently impacted by abrupt unemployment, I cannot stress enough as an attachment researcher and therapist that a family can get through anything together if their basic attachment bond is secure. If a couple or family are suddenly forced to navigate a singular income due to job loss, being aware of a negative emotional cycle characterized by conflict and hostility is key. Do not allow this cycle to wreak havoc on the much-needed safety of your home and family as your household figures out the next move. Staying emotionally connected to your family is going to be the elixir that will move all of you out of financial hardship. Because it will pass. And your immediate family has the capacity to come out of it more securely bonded than ever before. 

Ian Hammonds, PhD Candidate, LPC-Supervisor, LMFT-Supervisor  (He/Him/His)

Owner, Founder | New Wave Counseling, Austin

Doctoral Candidate | Alliant University, San Diego

5524 Bee Caves Road

Building E, Suite 2

Austin, Texas 78746

newwavecounselingatx.com/about-ian

NewWaveCounselingATX@gmail.com

O: 512-402-2995